Sometimes We Don't Get Back What We Lost
by TitaniaSarys
Summary: In 2018, Liho was snapped along with half the universe. In 2023, she's back. But where is Her Human?


_Avengers Compound – Upstate New York_

_2018_

Her Human was gone again, this time for longer it seemed. Liho had seen Her pack a bag, as She usually does when She leaves for long, but this time, something seemed different. Her Human seemed tenser, distressed almost. Which is silly because Her Human is the only human that is never distressed. Liho had seen Her in difficult situations, situations during which Liho would have hissed and ran away, but it wasn't Her Human's type. She always remained calm and composed, always knew what to say and what to do. She was an alpha female, even if the rest of the world didn't necessarily think so.

Therefore Liho wasn't worried because Her Human always came back.

So Liho just stretched on Her Human's bed on which she was allowed to stay when Her Human wasn't sleeping. It was something they had agreed on very early on, back in those days when Liho was doing everything to be let inside Her Human's apartment while it rained outside. Liho wasn't allowed to stay on the bed if Her Human was in it. And Liho was fine with that, there were plenty other places to sleep on.

Her Human didn't pay her much attention at first because they were used to not get in each other's way. She had brought Liho to this new place, much bigger than the apartment in the big city. Much quieter too. Liho liked it better because her personal territory was bigger now, but also because it was really nice to lie in the sun on the patio or to hunt mice outside in the grounds surrounding the new place. She had also spotted some birds in the woods outside, but Liho hadn't dared to venture that far yet.

Once Her bag was ready, Liho noticed that it seemed much heavier than usual. Her Human had also packed more black shiny things that smelled like death and sometimes had blood on them. Liho had caught more than once Her Human cleaning them with such reverence and patience they must be important.

Her Human then came towards her and scratched her behind the ears, just like Liho liked and she purred for Her Human, which never failed to make Her smile. Then Her Human said something that Liho didn't understand (she never did, the humans spoke a strange language, all in high-pitched sounds and gestures) but she could guess from Her Human's tone that it was serious and that Liho should pay attention.

After that, Her Human was gone, but she left the cat flap open. When Liho ventured outside of her territory later that day, she noticed that all the other humans were gone, probably accompanying Her Human. Liho was pleased: that way she wasn't bothered and Her Human would have company. Liho had noticed which humans Her Human liked and the other humans living in this new territory seemed to be among her favorite. They all seemed to belong to the same clan even if they looked different, smelled different and spoke different. Liho actually wondered if some of them were even human because they smelled funny.

She didn't think more about it until she went hunting for some shrews. She had one trapped under her paws, ready to deliver the final blow, when something strange happened. Liho could feel the world shifting around her, her senses were telling her that something was completely wrong, but she didn't know what.

Suddenly, the shrew under her paws turned into a pile of dust and Liho tapped at it, wondering where it had went. She just stood there in the grass, looking at the ground, until the tip of her paw turned into dust as well. It spread up the length of her paw, through her entire body and in a matter of seconds, she was turned into dust with knowing what had happened.

* * *

_Avengers Compound – Upstate New York_

_2023_

As fast as she had vanished, Liho found herself in the grass outside her new territory. Even without having a precise feel of how much time had passed, she knew things had changed. It was darker than before, the sun was lower in the sky and things were eerily quiet. Maybe Her Human wasn't back from her trip yet. Maybe no other human was back yet.

Liho looked for the shrew, but the grass seemed different as well. It seemed wilder and longer, almost covering her entirely. Something was definitely wrong.

Since she couldn't find the shrew, she made her way back to her new territory, hoping to find Her Human there. Maybe She would have an answer for what was wrong even if Liho wouldn't be able to understand her. On her way back to the compound, Liho noticed that the other animals seemed to be joyful, birds were chirping at each other louder than usual, she noticed some bugs that weren't supposed to be there because it wasn't the right season, she heard noises in the distance.

But before she could reach the new territory, something burst out of the compound and flew into the sky, making Liho run into the nearest tree. Liho had never seen a giant bird like that and she wondered what it was, where it was from. Maybe Her Human had brought it back with her.

Moments later, the sky was torn with shades of red and falling stars and her whole new territory burst into flames while stone and metal crumbled into a gaping hole.

For as long as there was frightening noises in her new territory, Liho remained in the tree. She saw lighting strike the ground, saw hundreds of humans and other things she had never smelled before move fast, either on the ground or in the air. There was some water too but she stayed as far away as she could without losing sight of her territory, hoping she could reclaim it once the noises had died down.

They took a long time to calm down and some of the creatures left. Liho waited an extra couple of hours after it all went silent to start making her way back. It was dark by the time she reached her territory but not much remained of it. Only stone and rubble but no humans.

Liho waited the entire night, sleeping on a slab of concrete near what she knew was the entrance of her territory for the humans, since they couldn't squeeze through the many hidden holes that she used to use. Finally, after a while, when the sun was warming her black fur again, two humans came.

She recognized them both instantly. One smelled like the potential mate for Her Human and the other smelled like he was from the same litter as Her. Stretching from her spot, Liho mewed in greeting at them and they both froze before turning in her direction.

When they saw her, something changed in their behavior. The potential mate let out this strangled cry, as if something terrible had just happened, as if he lost his entire litter or his favorite hunting grounds. The sibling didn't cry but Liho could sense that he was sad, they both were.

No, it was more than that, something terrible had happened. She had only sensed this much grief when one of the other cats back in the big city had lost its entire litter and Liho had helped her by bringing her some game.

The sibling came and crouched in front of her, said some things she couldn't understand and all Liho could say was ask where Her Human was and why wasn't She the one to greet her. But the human didn't understand and kept doing his best not to cry. She could smell he was on the verge of tears, so she rubbed her head against his hand and allowed him to take her into his arms.

She liked those two humans because they were good members of Her Human's clan. She let the other one pet her as well if it made them feel better but she still didn't know where Her Human was.

They rummaged through the debris for an hour, looking to salvage what was salvageable, before they started to leave and the sibling stood above Liho as if he didn't know what to do with her. Liho meowed to take her to Her Human and that seemed to do it: the human took her into that moving steel box that Her Human had transported her in several times. Liho didn't understand what it was really, but she knew it allowed you to go places. She remained calm on the sibling's lap, hoping they were taking her to Her Human. Maybe Her Human couldn't come to her, so Liho would go to Her Human.

They took her to a small wooden house near a lake were a lot of other humans were. Liho recognized more than half of them from her territory, they were also members of Her Human's clan. Maybe Her Human was among them?

When the sibling let her out of the moving box, Liho ran into the house and sniffed everything, looking for Her Human. She didn't notice the sibling and the potential mate talking to a blonde lady and asking her if Liho could stay, to which the lady smiled, cried a little and nodded as if she knew something Liho didn't.

But Liho couldn't find Her Human there either. Her smell seemed to linger near the porch, but it was at least a couple of days old, so Liho wasn't sure. But other than that, she had nothing and every human present seemed to be sad as well. She wondered if this clan had lost its litter too.

More humans came and Liho skittered into the bushes surrounding the house. Maybe Her Human would come later. So she waited. She watched them as they all stood near the lake and threw something on the surface. They cried and talked and remained together. Some stayed longer than others, a lot of them stayed in the house until the sun was disappearing in the horizon.

* * *

After some time, Liho smelled food coming from the house and so she tried to sneak inside to grab a bite. She managed to sneak into the main room before the sibling found her. Crouching in front of her, he kept talking to her, his tone even and gentle, not threatening. The kind of tone Her Human had used. So Liho went to him, rubbed against his hand and followed him towards the kitchen.

She was startled by the many humans there, but the blonde lady was coming towards her with her dark heels and put something on the ground: a fresh plate of raw chicken and Liho didn't hesitate. They left her alone while she ate but she didn't run afterwards. Maybe Her Human would come back to this place. Humans tended to stay with other humans, Her Human was no different. Liho could remember times in the new territory when Her Human stayed in the main room, next to the food room, talking to other humans, laughing and playing together like the members of the same clan should.

So Liho stayed and allowed the humans to pet her. After a while, she recognized the blond lady as the mate of one of Her Human's clan member, the male that always smelled of coffee and oil. But Liho hadn't seen him anywhere, although the entire house strongly smelled like him. Maybe he was the lost kitty of the litter? If that was the case, Liho was sure Her Human would be sad because she liked that human.

And then a small human scratched her behind the ears in just the right way and Liho purred like she used to purr for Her Human, making the potential mate smile almost tenderly although he remained on the verge of tears. The small human smelled like a combination of the coffee and oil scented human and the blonde lady so Liho guessed it was their kitten. And so she licked the kitten who laughed but didn't pull away, because that's what Her Human would want her to do: show affection for the new member of Her Human's clan.

But time passed and Her Human didn't come. The sibling finally took her to the moving box again, maybe this time to see Her Human? Liho licked the new kitten goodbye and rubbed her whole body against its small pale and furless legs before following the sibling. The potential mate hugged her as if it was the last time he saw her and Liho had the feeling he wasn't wrong. Something told her she wouldn't be seeing him again. It was a shame because she thought he belonged with Her Human and she expected them to have many kittens together.

The box moved for so long, Liho ended up falling asleep in the passenger seat. It was the sibling's hand in her fur that woke her and she realized that the sun was up in the sky again. But they were in a different place, someplace she had never been before and she spent a good dozen minutes sniffing everything.

The sibling took her to a new house and she was greeted by his own mini-clan. She let the small humans pet her but quickly ran out to explore.

* * *

It didn't matter how many hours and days Liho waited, Her Human never came back.

She had grown accustomed to this new place. There was much game to hunt, many places to hide in on this farm and Liho liked it there. It reminded her of her new territory now destroyed forever. The small humans were always gentle with her and would always pet her if she came rubbing her head against them. She was treated well but hoped Her Human would come soon.

When the season was coming to an end and the next one was starting to settle in, Liho caught the sibling crying on the couch in the main room one evening. She jumped on the couch and nestled against him. He pet her for a long time with one hand, holding a picture frame in the other. When Liho meowed and looked at him with her big green eyes, the sibling cried even louder.

It was in that moment that Liho understood that Her Human was also a lost kitten that would never come back. Liho couldn't understand the human's words, couldn't recognize the person in the picture, couldn't understand much of the world, but from the tone in the human's voice, from the smell of grief and fear and loneliness emanating from him, Liho just knew. She understood that this weird feeling of something being out of place was the fact that Her Human was truly gone and would never come back.

So Liho laid herself against Clint's thigh and remained there throughout the whole evening, even when Laura came down to check on him when his crying intensified. She let Clint wipe out her own tears, the only thing she could do to show her pain. And every time Clint had a breakdown when holding that specific picture, Liho was there to keep him company.

And when years later Liho eventually passed away, Clint buried her next to the stone he had set up in the garden to honor Natasha, a stone that the world would never see but that Natasha's family would pay their respects to every year.

And Clint dared hope that wherever she was Natasha was at peace and was watching over them, a black cat on her shoulder.


End file.
